How could I tell a story about sisterhood without input from my actual sisters? It's impossible. I asked for submissions regarding experience in sisterhood and you answered. Let's see about our fellow sister's experiences in forming relationships with other women. Has Sisterhood hurt, healed, or helped these ladies in any kind of way. Press play and dive deep with me ¡Sis!
Please make sure you follow and support the business of the day:
https://www.instagram.com/shopflybyknight/
Follow Iman
https://www.instagram.com/iman_nicole/
Support Sawntreace
https://www.instagram.com/sacredskintherapyca/
Support Kahreena
https://www.instagram.com/radruin/
Contact Mary: MT8NYQ@gmail.com
https://www.egyptianprincess8.com
Special Thanks to my favorite psychiatrist Dr. Fay Fears.
King SIS on the track
https://www.epidemicsound.com/referral/sdfs3e/
https://www.epidemicsound.com/track/GbMzPvDu4G/
Do you want to submit to the pod?
Send me an email: Heyaesha@gmail.com.
Leave me a voicemail: 909-748-5331.
Hey Aesha (00:01):
Welcome! I'm so excited that you decided to join me for the very first official episode of ¡Sis! the podcast. I am. Hey Aesha, I'm your host. And in the trailer, I asked you to take a ride with me to journey with me through sisterhood. I want us to deconstruct, reconstruct --challenge -- question, this vital relationship, this relationship that has been so helpful and maybe even hurtful to some of us. So the first thing that comes to mind is a quote by Dr. Harville Hendrix, where he says that we are born in relationship, that we are wounded in relationship and through relationship. We are also healed. This is such a central relationship in so many of our lives, our friendships. And before I hopped on this mic and just talked for 20 minutes about my ideas, about what makes sisterhood great. I had to stop myself... Because how could I have a conversation about a vital relationship without my sisters?
Hey Aesha (01:06):
I asked you guys to send me some mail texts, email, voicemail, and just tell me, how has sisterhood hurt you? Helped you? healed you? What is your experience in sisterhood? And I was so super excited to get some mail. We're going to jump into the mailbag. We're going to dive in, but we are going to pause because I want you to hear about the feature business of the day of the episode. Okay? So after these messages, we'll be right back with some mail. Storytime! So check it. I was walking through the office on a casual, casual Friday, and I felt obliged to rock. My sisterhood is a form of therapy. T-shirt from Shop Fly by Knight, a Brooklyn-based Black-owned black woman-owned apparel business. Tell me why. One of my coworkers, (older black woman) decided to tell me she didn't agree with my shirt, but despite her not agreeing with my shirt, she noticed my shirt.
Hey Aesha (02:28):
And so when you Shop Fly by Knight, you get some of the flyest merchandise you ever wanted to see or be seen in. So make sure you go to @shopflybyknight (Knight with the K in front of it), go to shop, fly by night.com. And order from this Brooklyn based business. Every piece is thought out with love is thought out with intention it's and I guarantee you, you gone to be turning heads, breaking necks, and taking checks, go support my sis and her good business. And now we'll get back to the show.
Iman Nicole (03:12):
Hello. Um, my name is Iman. And do you know, honestly, sisterhood, I have to give my 2 cents on that, but sisterhood has really been just a backbone. I think for me, just having different circles and you know, different topics. I mean, my girlfriends have really gotten me through situations and as we grow up, there's just nothing that's off limits. And I love having a good group of just, sister, friends that are there when you need them at any time answer, any questions, provide that support and just truly love on you the way that you know, you need at times. So I'm forever grateful and look forward to discussing that more on your podcast. Congrats my girl.
Hey Aesha (04:01):
Thank you. Iman I tend to agree with you, but maybe that's because we've been sisters for like, uh, too many years account. I'm not about to go into it, nobody's business, but our own, and I appreciate you or Chi-Ming in and showing me so much love if you want to follow him on and keep up with her and make sure you find her on Instagram at @Iman_Nicole. Now up next, I want to read another submission that was sent to us via email Yoli writes... "I feel that sisterhood has been healing for me. I do not have many friends, but the quality of the friends in my life has helped me on my journey. When I felt like I was not good enough or unworthy, my sisters have stepped in and reminded me of the strong woman that I am. I hadn't talked to you in years, Aesha and you have even helped me on my healing journey.
Hey Aesha (05:00):
Thank you for that. I also can see we're sisters that can hurt you. If you do not choose quality over quantity, it can become very hurtful. I feel we all have gone through hurtful sisterhood moments one way or another. I've always prided myself in being happy for others and hoping for the best, but not everyone has good intentions. I'm grateful that my current sisterhood has not hurt me, but is assisting in my healing". Yoli is also a sister from way back. And thank you for the beautiful words. Thank you for your vulnerability. It is important that we address how some people are hurt in relationship and wounded through their attempts to form real bonds with other women. And we will get into that more during this season. So thank you, Yoli for bringing that up and we're going to go onto the next submission.
Sawntreace M. (06:09):
I feel like sisterhood has helped me and hurt me. I feel like it helped me because, um, without, you know, my fellow sisters cheering me on me on giving me support. I mean, sometimes that's what we need from another woman just showing us that there are like-minded people like us that can give us support or give another woman support. Um, it has hurt me because I've had my share of experiences of trying to be genuine to, um, another female giving love and support, and that I did not get in return, but I will say this, like I did have a love, hate relationship for it, but really, I mean, I feel like sisterhood is, is dope. You know? Oh, all in all, like it has not stopped me from being Hawaiian. My past experiences have not stopped me from being who I am or having the heart that I have or giving true, genuine support to another woman.
Sawntreace M. (07:20):
I will say that my bad experiences with sisterhood, I had, I played some part in that because I allow people to treat me starting way without speaking up about how I really felt in that current time and moment or whatever. I didn't, I allowed them to treat me in such a manner without speaking up on it. I waited until they got far along way, deep into it to react, react to how I was treated. But it's like they had treated me like that over and over and again. And I gave them access to do that. Like I gave him leeway to do that, but so I played some part in me. So I mean, my bad experiences definitely won't change how I feel about the new relationships that I'll set or new sisterhoods I will form from here on out. Because I've been meeting some cool-dope women,-- since the past, um, relationships or Sister-ships or whatever, I've let go. In the past. I met some cool women that went out of their way. So she gave me support and love and, and, and vice versa. So, I mean, that's just what it is.
Hey Aesha (08:38):
That was Sawntreace. The owner of Sacred Skin in Chino Hills, California. Sawntrece I just want to thank you for taking the responsibility. So often when we receive a hurt, we focus in on how we were hurt and what this person did and why it hurt and why this person is wrong. But it takes a big person to admit that they have some onus in their own hurt. I think that when you can acknowledge that, I think healing can begin. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist. I'm just a person that's been hurt a time or two. And I know that when I acknowledge my contribution to certain situations and stopped saying who was the victim and who was the villain, I was able to truly move on from those situations and build the life that I wanted. And it sounds like you're doing the same, all the best of luck and congratulations to you for what you're doing in your business. And those dope friendships. You're beginning to form. I wish you nothing, but the best... Kahrheena is the founder of RadRuin, which is a fashion line that I am so excited to see launch. I'm so excited for all that she's going to create. And she has a few thoughts on sisterhood...
Kahrheena M. (10:06):
I would say the time I experienced sisterhood positively the most positively and the most impactful would be when I went to design school. Um, I went to school in Austin, having grown up in Denver, Colorado, the demographics were refreshing to see other women of color, majority Black, Brown, Asian, be their most creative selves and have inspiring ideas and concepts. It made me feel so connected. And so whole, because representation does matter. And in high school, I was on more of an AP English, AP math, AP science, AP, um, prep, which is not terrible, but it tended to lead me to be the token Black woman in most situations for majority of my life. So my creativity, not that other people didn't have creativity, but my creativity was always like it's a Black perspective. Um, instead of it just being a perspective and getting to see a sh--- many shades of possibly similar experiences expressed through different media and people.
Kahrheena M. (11:25):
And it actually is what led me to ultimately come back to Texas as I'm launching my brand RadRuin because of that positive energy that I was able to connect with, um, through hearing beautiful, strong creative women, filter the world and filter their lessons and filter their, their heart, their soul, their spirituality through, um, their art. Um, and more specifically through through fashion. Um, I think, you know, we're in an age of just leveling people in order for us to create a new foundation and build a new empire of how the world should work. I guess for me, sisterhood entered in the most powerful, positive way. Um, you know, through furthering my education and creativity and meeting other creative minds that were able to just kind of flourish and learn together, um, and then create that, that bond of, of being women of color, but also being these powerhouses of, of ideas and concepts to push, you know, forward the human experience. But I love what you're doing. I love your concept and let me know any other way I can help work. You need anything else from me?
Hey Aesha (12:46):
Definitely. Thank you for sharing that experience about how sisterhood can even push you in your career. Um, it can help you discover new parts of your identity and your creativity. So again, Kahrheena, thank you for sharing your experience with me. Next. We are going to jump back into the email bag and we're going to hear from life coach and all around artist, Miss Mary... Mary writes. Once I found my true sisters in Christ, I knew who I could trust with my deepest secrets, joys and frustrations, pain, life goals, prayer requests, encouragement and laughter because God knew who he had to bring into my life. It surely uplifted me, strengthened me and taught me a lot about womanhood. Sisterhood is something I take very seriously if I trust you. And it's reciprocated, that has to be the foundation of any great friendship. I've gone through seasons of pruning friends.
Hey Aesha (13:54):
Some friends had to leave to make room for what God was trying to show to me. Sisterhood. When you find that circle, it's definitely sacred. It's a blessing. It's the family. God, didn't give you through blood yet. He enriched your life at just the right time. When you needed a woman to speak life into you. Losing the three women. I looked up to the most, my grandmother, my aunt, and my mother, God started to play some amazing women in my life throughout different seasons. God continues to refine my sisterhood circle. Also. That is why I'm passionate about life coaching women and men, to find the healing, to be open to real authentic relationships of all types. Mary, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I absolutely understand what you mean about God pruning and refining your circle. And I love that you chose those words because a lot of times we talk bail friendships.
Hey Aesha (14:52):
We talk about betrayals, but in a lot of times, God is showing us things, not only about the person that hurt us or the person that's leaving our life, but he's showing you us things about ourselves. And if we really fit in, think about what happened, there's really no loss. There's really no good or bad. There's really just opportunities for growth and improvement. So I thank you for that beautiful perspective. And if you guys want to connect with Mary, she is an author life coach, a curator, a mentor, a visual artist, a poet, and a talent scout. You can connect with her at MT8NYQ@gmail.com. We're coming close to the close of our episode. We have one more submission to go through. I do just want to go out kind of the way that we came in with a quote, um, Warsan Shire.
Hey Aesha (15:50):
One of my favorite poets. She says, "I think of lovers as trees growing to, and from one another searching for the same light". While, we don't think about our friendships in the same way that we think about our romantic relationships. They are different, but it's still a love relationship. And with any love relationship there are going to be peaks and valleys. And sometimes you feel like you're climbing the steepest mountain, but when you get to the top, the view is just impeccable and all that you went through it to get there. It changes your perspective. And so I want you to challenge yourself to think differently about how you are giving and taking in your relationships with your sisters. And I also want you to challenge how you judge certain interactions that you're having with your sisters. We have one more submission to read through before we close this episode out.
Hey Aesha (16:51):
Dr. Fears writes, "I wasn't exactly sure what you were looking for. So here's my stream of consciousness on the topic that may or may not be useful. I've always been the type of girl/woman to have female friends similar to what you mentioned. I definitely use to side-eye women who said, 'they only had male friends because they didn't get along with women'. As I've grown. I've definitely come to realize that most of these views are rooted in trauma and everyone processes things differently. And I can feed both sides because women have definitely been my best friends, as well as some of my worst enemies. I think for me, sisterhood is so important because that's my tribe where I can go and not explain things down to the minutia or interpret the spoken and unspoken levels of an interaction because they've lived it, and they know. I really liked Michelle Obama's podcast episode, ‘The Gift of Girlfriends.’
Hey Aesha (17:55):
So much of my lived experiences have been informed by my identity as a Black woman. And I definitely think it has been therapeutic to have always had a circle of girlfriends who can validate my experiences and share the wisdom they've gained from their own experiences, whether it was relationships, work, future plans. I've been able to look to my sisters for love, support, honesty, encouragement, and understanding. And I think that's what sisterhood should be. Again, not sure if this is what you were looking for, but I hope it helps. I'm looking forward to the podcast"…. Dr. Fears, I thank you for your submission and you pretty much said you said it better than I could say. So I'm not going to sound too much on that. I am definitely going to reach out to some of these amazing ladies that have shared their experiences with us, both good and bad, to have more in-depth conversations with them about their individual experience.
Hey Aesha (19:01):
The important thing that I want to accomplish on this podcast is to not just share my perspective, because you can't have a conversation about sisterhood with just one perspective. There's so many different perspectives working here... Next week. I'm going to have a conversation with someone that I call my muse. She's the one who said something to me who had a conversation with me that launched the stream of consciousness and motivated me to create this podcast. I hope you all will join me. And I thank you for taking this ride with me today. And I hope to see you throughout the rest of the season as well, too. Just remember the businesses, the business owners, the amazing women that shared their submissions with me, those who wanted to be identified, their information is in the show notes. The feature business of the day, the information is in the show notes.
Hey Aesha (20:00):
The music today was provided by King SIS. You can find her on epidemic sound. She is amazing. Our time together today has come to an end. And I thank you all for taking this ride with me today. I hope that peace and love flows through your life like water flows over rocks. I hope that you meet some dope sisters this week, and I hope that you have the best interactions and provide the best experiences for those that you encounter. And I hope that you protect your magic and trust your dopeness, and don't shrink yourself for anyone ¡Sis! That's a lot of hopes, but I'm hoping it all for you. And I also hope to see you again next week or for you to hear me next week until next time. Peace
King SiS (21:21):
Instrumental King SiS “We Could Go”
https://www.epidemicsound.com/track/GbMzPvDu4G/